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Top 5 Programmers to Avoid

If you’ve ever worked with a programmer, you know that some programmers are smart, funny, and can make your project successful. Other programmers can ruin a project, making everyone's life miserable in the process. Here’s my list of the top 5 programmers to avoid like they have contracted a scary disease.

Know-it-all Nancy

Nancy has no interest in your input. In fact, Nancy will roll her eyes at you when you offer an opinion. Nancy thinks all her programs would work perfectly if it weren’t for the users.

Jumpin’ Jack

Jack jumps in and makes changes without considering the implications. Unfortunately, this means that his fixes often break other things, or are ill-considered. Working with Jack means you’ll be spending as much time backing out of his "improvements" as implementing them.

Slow Joe

Slow Joe is the opposite of Jack. Joe can’t complete any fix or enhancement without at least a year of analysis and study. We don’t know why Joe is so slow, but finding out would probably take too long. We have lives!

Tongue-tied Ted

The reason why Ted became a programmer was because he thought he wouldn’t have to speak to people anymore. Unfortunately, Ted was wrong. Programmers need to communicate with end-users, project managers, business owners, and other programmers. And since Ted doesn’t like talking to people, he’s unlikely to ask the questions he needs to do a good job.

Hacker Harry

Hacker Harry likes the idea of having power over the company. He thinks privacy rules don’t apply to him. So, he likes to hack into the server to read everyone’s email. He guesses passwords to access systems that he doesn't rights to. Harry likes the power he has knowing more about technology than others, and isn’t afraid to use it for his personal benefit.

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Avonelle is a rare IT professional who can communicate with business users on a level they can understand, and who can recommend creative technical solutions that are in line with the business goals and the business budget. Avonelle is conscientious not only about meeting deadlines, but also exceeding her customers expectations around quality software while providing superior customer service. Avonelle is an inspiration to me.

Valerie Vogt, Director of IT Advisory Services @ Inetium